Discernment - Making Decisions with God

 
We hear a lot about following God’s will – how can I know I am being open to God’s will when I make important decisions in my life?

Seeking God’s will in our decisions is called “discernment.” It is not always easy to know God’s will, mainly because our own will – our wants and desires – can speak so loudly that it can shut out the whisper of God’s voice in our hearts. Here is a step-by-step guide rooted in what the great Catholic spiritual writers say about the discernment process. Try using them to be open to God’s will the next time you have to make an important decision.
 
1. Setting a Context of Prayer – We begin by praying for God’s grace to guide us and help us to be open to his will and not just our own. Prayerful openness to God should permeate all the steps of this process.

2. Seeking Information and Guidance – Looking to reliable sources, we need to gather information to guide us. What do we already know? What advice do experts in the field offer? What is the teaching of the Church on the subject and why?

3. Evaluation – What are the “pros and cons” of each approach? How will they affect others? Are any clearly against God’s will? How does it feel when we talk to God about what each option would be like?

4. Prayerful Selection – Listening to our heart as well as our head, ask God to help us select the best option. Trust that this process has helped us be open to God’s will.

5. Period of Confirmation – It is important to have some time between selecting the plan and putting it into action. This allows us to seek God’s confirmation of it – or his challenge to us. Consider why we feel content or uncomfortable with the decision – is it a sign from God, or just a sign it is a difficult decision?

6. Putting it into Action – At times we can be hesitant to make a decision final. Trust that we have done our best to discern the best choice and that God will help us deal with the consequences – even if we were wrong.

7. Re-evaluation – Often we can see the hand of God more clearly in hindsight. Looking back on decisions we have made, can we find signs that they were in line with God’s will? Are there lessons we can learn that will guide our discernment in the future?
 
Those who are married should strive to practice discernment together, making sure they come to mutual agreement. The couple must take mutual responsibility for the decision so that there can be no blaming each other if problems result. As always, praying together is an important ingredient to decisions as a couple, living the sacrament of marriage in openness to God.
 
(Adapted from Catholic Engaged Encounter outline for decision making. © 2004)